Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Guitar...zero...

For many products, consumer implications are blatantly obvious, and need not be stated to even the dullest of the drawer's knives. However, in case anyone over at RedOctane is reading, allow me to state some of these implications implicitly. It can be assumed, for instance, upon purchase of a new car, that the the vehicle will accept gasoline as a fuel source, should its driver choose to use it. It is also a fair assumption that a microwaveable food product, a frozen burrito for instance, will not be incompatible with heat.

Along these lines, it should also be clear that a thriving PS2 multiplayer game ported onto the Xbox-360 should not be allergic to the internet. I am referring to Guitar Hero II of course, and sadly, in regards to said allergies, I must report that it will be. Gamepro is reporting that the game will not support online multiplayer via Xbox Live upon it's release. There are plenty of online download features that make the game worth buying over the PS2 version, but not including online multiplayer on an Xbox 360 game with Guitar Hero's social value is unacceptable. We all know the drill: Wii owners burn calories, PS3 owners play...well... I guess they just play Resistance, and 360 owners play online. Update quickly as not to alter the formula.

There is some mildy good news however. The game will still support an online leaderboard, so you can compare your offline performance to that of others. Fans of indirect fun, rejoice...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Serena Williams is Chaos?


If you've been to ESPN.com lately, you may have noticed the considerably unflattering picture of Serena Williams' victory pose that is currently plastered across the main page of the site. As a gamer, when I first encountered this photo, I immediately recalled the cover art of Primal Rage, a quarter-assed prehistoric 2D fighter for the SNES. A quick archaeological dig through my classic game collection revealed a stunning, if not frightening, resemblance between Williams, the tennis icon, and Chaos, the ape-beast god of decay. As far as I'm concerned, the two images' variance is restricted to context and skin color. But all ape-beasts aside, while I'm sure Williams is proud to have her exploits chronicled on the front page of the site, she can't be pleased with the presentation.