Kojima Has Lost It

A mere eight days after I saluted Kojima on his genius and integrity, I am back to report that he has come up with the worst idea for a video game I have ever heard. Apparently strapped for cash, Kojima has come up with a sort of monetary black hole that will perpetually suck more and more money out of players' bank accounts, while zombie action prevents them from noticing the events at play. It seems his idea involves a zombie MMORPG in which... well, maybe you should just hear it from him:

The zombie idea I have is a bit different...Imagine a large town where half the inhabitants are zombies. Users would subscribe, get inside the town and get bitten. At that stage they become undead and can't control their character - all they can do is modify the camera angles... They'd see their character attacking humans and have to pay just to watch! The only way they could end it is by opening another account, hunting themselves down and killing themselves. Of course, the problem is that your second character can get bitten as well.

Actually, on second thought, that idea might have some merit, but I have a few suggestions. How about, for every hour that infected players fail to hunt down their characters and kill them, their monthly subscription rate doubles! That would really make the game more fun. And how about this... there could be seven unstoppable zombies in the town, and if you get bit by one of them, you too become an unstoppable zombie, and you can never stop paying for the game. On top of that, if you have to open up three or more accounts, an intern from Kojima Productions can come to your house and give you AIDS!

Hell, if you love zombies and hate disposable income, this could be better than sex!

Source: Kojima's version of Zombie apocalypse (involves killing yourself)

Movies of the Patriots

A couple of hours ago, Gamespot reported that Metal Gear Solid producer Hideo Kojima has finally entered into a Hollywood contract for the film adaptation of the series. For fans like myself, it seems like this deal has been in the works forever, and I was starting to worry that it would never happen.

Those who know me or read Coralcola at it's previous address should be aware by now that I support film adaptations of video games a little less than I support neo-naziism, BET, and hippies. However, this particular instance represents a unique occurence, distinct from all previous game-to-crap film announcements. Barring any unfortunate catasrophes, I have reason to believe this movie might actually be good.

Why? Because I know Kojima. Sure, I don't know him in the since that he responds to my letters, answers my calls, or opens his window when I serenade him from his lawn. But I do know that he is an artist. There is a reason that this movie has taken so long to come to fruition. Without knowing any details about the deal he signed, I know that with the amount of artistic integrity and pride that he embodies in his works, Kojima will not allow Metal Gear to be poorly represented on the big screen.

In regard to the afformentioned unfortunate catastrophes, just pray they don't cast Tom Cruise. Actually, pray twice...